Monday, 16 January 2012

Concussion Prevention: 10 Questions Every Player Should Ask Themselves

Every player should ask themselves these ten questions when on the ice. Being aware of your surroundings can help you prevent a concussion.

So here, in no apparent order, are the questions:

  1. Is Matt Cooke on the ice? - Video link
  2. Is Chara angling me into the ... ? (CRASH) ... Oh God - Video link
  3. Has Chris Neil sucker-punched you in the face yet? (Watch him pretend he got hit in the face too... what a tool) - Video link
  4. Did you recently take part in the Sports Illustrated "Most Over-rated NHL player" poll and are Dion Phaneuf and Chris Pronger standing on your porch? - link
  5. Wendel Clark doesn't still play hockey, does he? - Video link
  6. Is David Steckel skating near you and pretending not to see you? - Video link
  7. Did Milan Lucic just run over my goaltender? Should I jump in there and show him that here in Buffalo we don't roll over to physical contact? ... Whats that?... We do roll over? ... Good, I'll stay here then. - Video link
  8. Is that Glenn Healy between the benches? Damn you Hockey Night in Canada! (beats head repeatedly on the boards.) - Video link
  9. If I attempt to settle this bouncing pass with my head down, will I be crippled? - Video link
  10. Wayne Simmonds has the perfect NBA body type, he should be able to jump over me, right? - Video link ... I guess that's why he's playing hockey and not basketball... I'll show him, I'll get some dumbass to throw a banana at him! - Video link ... What's that ref? No, that wasn't a racist comment... I can't say "banana"? Barch article link ... Wait what? ... Wayne Simmonds is black? I never noticed... (the ref must be the racist one... tsk tsk...)
P.S. For the record I don't condone fighting. At the same time, I'm not against it, especially in a league where you have guy running around taking cheap shots at other players. But there's a big difference between fighting at a stand still and skating full speed to hit a guy in the head.

If you dispute my theory, I highly encourage you to participate in our final experiment. In this test we have you stand in front of one of you're friends as they punch you in the face several times... How do you feel? A bit woozy? ... Okay, now go stand in the middle of the road and have a friend drive a motorcycle at 50 km/h towards you. While he approaches, get him to stick his elbow out and drive it into your head... How do you feel now?