So we all watch the All-Star weekend, but if you're like me, chances are you walk away from it asking yourself why you wasted all that time. I say that to myself year after year and yet I still get sucked into watching everything, from the fantasy draft all the way to the All-Star game, which looks like a game of gym hockey sometimes. I'm not completely ripping the All-Star weekend, but someone definitely needs to cut the fat.
FANTASY DRAFT
The All-Star fantasy draft was a decent idea, but the execution of it is terrible. First off we have James Duthie hosting the show and attempting to make jokes that aren't remotely funny for an hour and a half. I have nothing against James Duthie, I think he's done well for TSN, but the only time I laughed all night was when he said the giant key could be for Chara's car, and even then it wasn't much of a laugh. The fantasy draft also didn't begin for about 20 minutes. In that time we saw a few clips of James Duthie and what seemed like a million commercial breaks. We get it, the entire all-star weekend is a cash grab, just please don't throw it in our faces. By about the third round of draft pics I was completely out of the loop. I have no idea who was drafted or when, I spent all my energy waiting for a decent camera angle of those two blonde girls bringing out the jerseys. Don't get me started on all the boring player interviews, I don't think there's ever been a room of people that shy with a microphone being forced into one face after another. James Duthie asking Tim Thomas about the Obama stuff was really not the brightest thing to do either.
SOLUTION TO ALL-STAR FANTASY DRAFT
They should cut the length of the program to 30 minutes instead of 90 minutes. Nobody wants to sit through the entire thing. Either that or replace some of the commercial breaks with decent camera shots of the jersey girls. I mean it's all about trying to make extra money anyways, right? A little sex appeal never hurt anyone.
SKILLS COMPETITION
Was it really necessary to see an endless amount of shooters in the shootout? Thank God Carey Price had a mic, he was the only saving grace for the entire program. They should really just have the actual skills and not the rest of the crap in the competition. It's all fun and games watching Patrick Kane slide stomach-first on the ice throwing the puck around with his glove, but really how long can you milk that for? The rest of the shootout attempts were boring, some even terrible. If people want to see some creative shootouts, the NHL and CBC would be better off just showing clips of Kyle Wellwood doing shootout attempts in practise.
SOLUTION
First off, can someone please get Glenn Healy out of there. I cannot stress this enough... How about we actually have skills in the skills competition. More events like the hardest shot and most accurate etc. I really don't want to watch Carey Price make a save facing the glass, although that was the probably the most entertaining part of the shootout competition.
ALL-STAR GAME
Is there any way of making the game itself actually competitive? Understandably nobody wants to get injured so there isn't much hitting and such, but if I want to watch a full game lacking effort or contact I'll watch a Habs game... Maybe we can give the players some incentive for winning... Maybe the players on the winning team all get a car, preferably something nicer on the eyes then Honda's odd looking station wagon. I'll give them credit though, the front end of the car looks really nice, so if you plan on running over someone, they'll think you have a pretty nice ride. I don't really have any ideas for a solution to this one, but surely someone somewhere on the Earth can think of a way to make this entertaining. Someone get Shanahan on it, he clearly isn't doing any better with administering suspensions. It's been the same inconsistencies year after year. Maybe next year they'll consider twice before suspending Ovechkin for three games for a boarding hit and letting Milan Lucic off with a warning for running over Ryan Miller. If Lucic was a Honda Crossover though, you see where I'm going with this? Maybe Miller wouldn't have been so pissed...
FINAL VERDICT
Is anyone actually reading as I ramble on? I would like to hope not, but then again this just proves that the NHL doesn't have to do anything with the All-Star weekend. Some people, myself included, are just way into hockey... Normally thats a good thing, until you realize you wasted half a dozen of hours on the All-Star weekend. Now you feel ripped off...
Oh well...
